My career dream has consistently been to become an artist. In some form or another, throughout my life, I’ve always wanted to learn how to draw, create digital characters, worlds, and concepts. Only recently have I been able to put my finger on exactly what that would look like for me.  

Concept Art. 

Of course, a dream like that starts with a pencil and paper. Knowing the basics of traditional drawing is a must.  To say that my first few sketches were disappointing to me, is a huge understatement.  I was quickly reminded that I am my worst critic.  So I kept going, I kept creating, watching tutorials, following inspiring artists, and drawing each day.  That lasted about a month or so, before I went away from tutorials and tried freehand drawing… it turned out horrible, I hated it, didn’t want to share it with anyone and was really discouraged about my progress (remember, it’s only been a month at this point). 

I see my talented friends, able to freehand beautiful art pieces in just a couple hours.  I see videos of people sketching whatever comes to mind and it’s incredible.  10x better than I could even hope of doing. 

My story is that I wasn’t born with a drawing talent.  I have to learn it.  Define it on my own. 

Sadly, I’m impatient with myself.  “I should be able to pick this right up! It should be easy for me.” I want to be a natural.  Instead, I spend my free time watching traditional drawing videos and doing homework of sketching 20 circles. 

Meanwhile, I watch youtube videos of my favorite artists thinking up some otherworldly monstrosity and creating it seamlessly… And I’m over here drawing circles.  Imperfect circles.  To tell you the truth, I’m really sick of drawing circles. 

I’ll get inspired and draw something that comes to mind, frustrated when it doesn’t come out how I thought it would.  My notepad is full of drawings with big X’s through them.  I’ll tell you, it’s discouraging! I have a few drawings that I kinda like, those I’ll text to my husband, and he will encourage me or critique it as needed.  It’s okay, but I want to knock people’s socks off.  I want to send him a drawing that is so good that he wants to show it off to everyone, bursting with pride for me. 

I want to show people that I can do this, that I can accomplish this goal, but this goal takes time.  I can’t expect myself to draw complicated and intricate pieces within just a few weeks.  I can’t expect years of experience to happen tomorrow.  Dreams have to be worked on daily.  It doesn’t matter what your dream is, you have to wake up each day and want it, truly work on it.  

Progress doesn’t come from simply wanting something.  You have to WORK for it.  Keep working on those imperfect circles, keep up the mundane tutorials and classes, keep learning.  How else could you expect to improve? Years of experience takes years.  Have patience with yourself, trust the process. Keep striving for those perfect circles. 

-Carlee

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