I have no experience in the mom-field, just wanted to get that out of the way before I act like I know what’s going on. What I do know is that 75% of my friends have little kids, and I get the joy of watching my friends become caring mommies and daddies.
Learning from them vicariously has been a beautiful experience to me. Obviously, I love watching them love their mini-me. But more than that, I get to see them struggle, problem-solve, learn, forgive, breathe, and carry on. The joy and heartbreak that children bring is incredibly strong, and I’m just watching from the sidelines.
I will never forget the look of perfect relief on Chelsea’s face, with Olivia screaming in the backseat of my car, I felt convicted to tell her “Chelsea, I hope you know that I really don’t mind this. I’m not judging you as a parent, and Olivia having a fit does not bother me in the slightest.” The peace that flowed through her was visible as she thanked me and confessed she was concerned about it.
It’s a constant fear. You don’t want to be judged on how you choose to parent, though it will inevitably happen. All you get to decide is if their opinion effects you or not. You don't want your parents to judge you. You don’t want your friends to judge you. You don’t want your bank teller to judge you. I can see how challenging it must be to raise a child, because even if you do everything right… you are doing something wrong.
Best do what you believe is right for your child, and learn to love your process, no matter how obscure it may be.
If you are like me, without a child but surrounded by little ones, and you want to bless the socks off of your momma friends, give them freedom. Release them. Give them unconditional grace. Do not judge them. Do all that and then TELL THEM. Say out loud “I hope you know that I don’t judge how you parent. You’re doing a great job with *insert screaming child’s name here* and I love you for how well you love them.” Hug them, do their dishes, kiss their child, and know that you have made their day.
Bless a Momma this Mother’s Day, and be honest with her. Tell her how you respect her decisions, love her for all she does, support her, and how much you truly enjoy watching her grow as a parent. Isn’t that all anyone wants? To be accepted for their way of thinking, supported for the things they are accomplishing, and encouraged that they are doing a great job?
I don’t know about you, but growing, birthing, sustaining, and raising a child is no easy feat, so who are we to judge what diapers, wipes, food, or sleeping arrangements, that mom decides to do? Is their baby loved, happy, and healthy? YES! Then they are doing a great job and should be recognized for their good work.